Monday, July 4, 2011

Prejudice

I remembered this kind of debate among some of the people I know, some including intellectual lecturers and professors. Well, it goes in the line of;

"Women should not wear revealing, skimpy outfits. This is like asking evil men to rape them".


"But that can't be right! Women who cover all get raped too!"


"Because they can't get the one with the skimpy outfits, so they take the one (the cover all lady) because she's closer" (using distance as a manner of joke; skimpy one is standing so far away so she's out of reach, cover all one standing nearby therefore she's easier to get grabbed).

In a country with a very strict moral code and heavy religious upbringing, appearance that is revealing or such gets fierce attention. I myself dislike revealing skin and everything. But this kind of debate is insulting to every women despite their choice of clothing. Stating things like "...women who wear skimpy outfits are asking for men to rape them..." is like saying these women deserves rape if it really happens to them. And this statement sometimes come from women themselves is quite disappointing. It is not like I support the idea of every women there is should dressed in skimpy outfits, rather on the opposite, but I am sure, the way one dresses do not reflect the good and bad in their inner self. It is understandable that most people are so quick to judge them because dressing appropriately is the norm for the society in which I grew up. When you go to church you don't wear sleeveless shirt that reveals your cleavage or wear short dresses that show your thighs. People will definitely stare and say you're impolite. I feel uncomfortable too if I see anyone dressing like that but it is not because I detest or decries them. It is simply because of the lack of one's knowledge in practicing the correct etiquette of dressing. I know that despite their clothing, I can see that they are sincere in their prayer or in other aspects like friendships or family. However, to say that they are asking people to rape them or ogle at them is an understatement. People should see that women dresses not to seduce the community. They like their clothing and they want to look cool wearing it. It does not mean they are immoral. 

      I remembered one time I had a wardrobe malfunction and I wanted to go church. I had no choice but to wear a tiny dress that didn't go beyond my knees. I already knew what people will perceive of me but I know I didn't dresses like that to offend anyone and God knows about it so I just shrugged my shoulder. I heard some boys whispered "Look at her, what will the priests say?" and they giggled as if I didn't hear anything. Well, talking bad about someone is not a godly thing to do and I suspect they didn't realize it. It was an amusing experience but I laughed about it right now. The thing is you don't judge a woman's goodness or weakness from the way she clothes. You can have only have an opinion about someone when you get to know them. Apart from that, rape happens to anyone. It does not matter about their appearance; rape is about power and dominance. And if you start talking about women who dresses "sluttily" makes men lustful and therefore caused rape to happen, think again about what you are implying.  Blaming women who are perceived like that for everything is always easy, but you need to keep your conscience clear. No women ever asked to be raped.

      I have no problem with people if they are uncomfortable with sexily-clad women. And it is undeniable that some men lust over women's body as can be seen with how well scantily clad models on magazine attracts men's attention and makes them think sexually towards women. But then lust is a part of human nature. So using lust as an explanation is really quite baseless. Women and men lust after one another all the time, but human are capable of controlling their lust. Moreover, whenever rape happened everyone seemed to be content with just saying that men are lustful. Nobody seemed to care about the dominance factor. Just because they have uncontrollable libido does not justify their action in looking at women for sexual satisfaction. Saying things like "I am a man, you know I have desire. I cannot help myself so it's your [women] fault I am sexually tempted" is an excuse. I am sure men can control their sexual desire if they have mind over matter. I am against the notion that rape is encouraged by any women through her choice of clothing (or her lifestyle) and the society need to stop blaming women for everything in that matter.

No comments:

Post a Comment